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article no. 11242
The computer is on but the monitor stays black.
Problem reports like that make IT guys and tech-savvy, helpful geeks like us just criiiinge, don't they? How nice would it be if we could "teach" these pen pushers some things? But no... instead, we have to explain how the monitor has to be switched on too!
The any key of my keyboard is missing.
Argh! It's a pity physical punishment is forbidden by law these days. But a small threat doesn't get you into trouble. Just let the whip glide through your fingers or hang it behind your desk. The effect is guaranteed! This way, even the dumbest 'lusers' (loser + user... get it?!) will fear you. Maybe this way they'll learn to do a re-start before they whine "My computer doesn't wooooorrrk!"
A short "manual" is attached to every Network Whip. This should help ease initial anger. The whole story can be found here, too.
By the way, we didn't invent the user notes. A collection of horror can be found here.
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